math test, submissions, and rug burn.

I decided that I'd stop using **** to disguise names now, it just seems unnessisary, since I haven't even told anyone that I made this blog, because if I did I'd feel like a complete idiot if anyone read anything I write about. So, yeah, just saying.
So, I stayed after with Nick today. I have a pretty massive math test tomorrow, and since I am terrible at math I asked Nick to stay after with me to go over my notes so maybe I won't bomb this one. And I could have just wanted to spend time with him too.
He did, he stayed after with me.
I have Spanish 4th hour, and since it was a blue day, Nick&my class are right across from each other. So, when my teacher lets us out, since she always does like 3 minutes early, I waited for him like always standing in the same spot like every day, right by my classroom door. After the bell rang, I got stepped on by this one girl, and headed out the big swing doors into the outside hallway, with Nick of course.
Normally, we walk past my locker outside, where Nick walks me to my bus&then runs to his, because walking me always makes him late. I told him not to walk me anymore, since he always barely makes his bus, but he insists on walking compleatly opposite of the direction he should be going, to walk me. He's just like that.
Since today wasn't like the typical day though, Nick walked me practically across the globe, because we walked around the whole highschool, for like no reason. I think there was a reason, but I can't remember why, I think it might have been because he wanted to find a spot for us to go to, but kept changing his mind. So finally, after like 15 minutes of trying to figure out a spot, he picks the staircase right by the basketball team's loud&roudy practice...smart right? It wasn't that loud or anything, but I was all worried we'd get in trouble with someone who just happens to use the staircase and get irritated were not in a supervised area, but Nick was all, "Chill out, no one ever uses this staircase." I stopped talking about moving spots, but that didn't ease my anxiety about it at all.
We stayed in the staircase for a while, I went over notes&thumb wrestled at the same time, which wasn't exactly a good studying tecnique, so I have a lot more studying tonight. I was starting to get more wary of our spot when I heard more people passing the door, so I packed up my stuff and told Nick we were moving, he didn't agrue or anything but ironically enough, after all our stuff was packed up&we were walking down the stairs, a gym teacher walked in the staricase, so I picked a good time to move.
After, we went to the Freshman Center and just sat at these red tables and messed around. He took my stuff, and tried to throw it in the garbage, and I took his phone, we arm wrestled, he put my leg in a "submission", I got rug burn, Nick left me for like 5 minutes because "i made him mad", and he threw a pencil at me that almost hit me in the eye. And the rest is history.

bombay beach.

I'm a avid believer in independent films, like the ones that you'd ask 10 people if they'd viewed it, and none of them would know what you were talking about.
Recently, I found the movie "Bombay Beach" and have yet to watch it, but I'm already in love with it.

If your interested, go to: http://www.bombaybeachfilms.com/

i love you more than the stars in the sky.

He is incrediable. I mean, I'm just me. I don't find anything nessisarily out-of-the-normal about me, so how could he love me? I actually believe him now, because he's told me for a while, since I've known him, really. But to actually love me, and want to be around me...it's different. I mean, how could this not make your heart melt?
I love you more than the stars in the sky.
I love you more as each moment passes.
I love you more with each breath I take.
I love you more with each promise we make.
I need you like a flower needs water.
I need you to wash away my pain.
I need you more each day.
I need you more for you are so wonderful in every single way.
I miss you are your touch.
I miss you more than ever now.
I miss you for you mean so much.
I want you to caress my lips like you do.
I want you to look into my eyes and see my love for you.
I want you to hold me close to your heart.
I want you to know that I really love you, need you, miss you, and I have for every single moment, right from the start.
-Nick, who loves you and always will.

I mean really, how could I not love him?

if he's right...

Don't you just love those out-of-the-blue, and semi-awkward conversations with the most random people imaginable? Well, I do. I'm talking to my friend ****, and me&him don't really talk as much anymore, since he doesn't live by me&there are other complications with our relationship, like how I only see him as a friend and stuff. Besides that, I'm texting him right now and he said he just got out of church, so I said "awh, ****, just got out of church(;", and he continued after that to give me this whole speech on how if I don't go to church, the devil will grill my ass or something. Well, it's not like I don't believe in God, I just don't go to church. For many reasons.
1. I stopped going when my parents got divorced, and just haven't found the motivation to start up again.
2. Every time I have gone, in the three occasions that has happened, I don't like how my grandma reacts to me going, like all mushy and emotional since she's a HUGE church advocate.
3. I think that the idea of having so many different religions, with different rules&regulations takes away the true meaning of worshiping a God.
4. I don't know what to classify myself.
5. I think that the requirements for church are outrageous, not like I don't understand dressing up to go and stuff like that, but instead of just showing appreaciation for being alive, I feel more like I joined a cult.
6. I think that the relationship I have with God, is more real&genuine than showing my face in a church building, listening to a pastor tell me what to believe, and mouthing the words to hymns that everyone in the building knows, except me.
So, that's what's been on my mind for the past 5 minutes, thinking about how **** said I'll be damned if I don't go to church.

new obsession, compleately healthy.

I recently discovered I love dream catchers<3

nice of you to show up.

This is so funny, this jittery feeling I have. 78% of the reason I feel like that is the Subway I just ate, but the other 32% is because of this new guy. I feel dumb writing about it, because whoever might see it could be thinking, "Oh this girl, simple-headed teenage girl. Ranting, and stressing her pretty little head over some boy then didn't ever love her, and not like she ever loved him either," well, I wouldn't blame you for thinking that. Just to justify that I'm not like that at all, I'll tell you I've been intrested in this guy for about two months, but just recently started deciding our relationship was progressing enough to talk about it. I mean I'm a teenager, I'm going to change my mind on a lot, but I wouldn't write about boys&stuff till I was sure I had legitamite stuff to even write about.
So, now that that's out of the way, on to explaining this new charecter in my life.
Well, I don't like the idea of saying names on here, so his name is ****, and oh is he funny.
Really, gym is never boring with him around, since he's always giving me crap about how "I run like a gazzele", "he's mad at me", and other dumb stuff we always joke around about.
It's weird, I've been thinking about him a lot lately.

realization.

It just hit me that I'm like the only one who reads my blog, soo, here's some pointless pictures....for myself.