It's really sad, how fast time goes. It's like one second it's here, and your just enjoying your daily life, with your daily complications and beautiful moments that happen each 24 hours, and then the next second your sitting there and the reality that another year that you can never get back is passing, and it slaps you in the face with such force you feel like your not grounded, like you can't comprehend reality, real from allusion. That's where I'm at right now, as I look upon my brother and sister eating there candy all I can think about is how they have no idea how lucky they have it, they live life for the moment, and the biggest stresser of there day-to-day is if someone is going to make them take a nap or not. I used to be tht kid, and that's amazing to me, that I lived a life so carefree and wild...there's nothing better than being a kid.
I still am a kid, yes, but I know more and more as the years pass about how the world works, and rearing the age of almost 15, I've absored more things I never sat and pondered about how i live, the things that I think about constntly now.
Things like how my grades affect my entire existence, whether I'll get into a five star college or not, whether I'll be in the same college as my soul mate, how i will never know if the choices i make as the days pass are the wrong ones, like i could have had it better if I did this thing that way.
So, basically the whole point of this post is that I'm proud of myself because I learned probably the most important skills of my life this year, ones I found on my own time, and I showed to myself. No advice showed me these skills, I learned them by experience and opening my mind to a bigger picture than my peers have around me.
*I learned how to teach people how to treat me, to be more complicated and hard-to-get go instead of becoming just like any other girl, I'm different. I don't play games with people, I'm real. I'm raw, I don't beat around the bush with things, I'm straight-forward and kind, and I've found that's the best way to be.
*I've learned how to be happy. I'm happy! HAPPY! The stresses that I used to let bother me, don't. Of course I get stressed out, over my head overwhelmed with certain things, but I'm happy. I learn how to juggle situations, and accomplish things I don't want to do with poise and grace. I don't get invested in other people's situations, I just float around them, being a partner in their passage, offering advice but not my whole self. I'm a better person and friend, and found that what happens in other people's life, happens, and not to dip into other people's personal life, especially uninvited. I don't have negative opinions about people's decisions, because my opinion on it is, "well, there not making me do it, so whatever they do, they do", and I don't judge, I just move on. ALL THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE I'M HAPPY!
I'm proud of myself&my mistakes, because there is many more to come, I'll welcome the people and the places that come into my life, and I hope I just suction-cup everything around me, like I continue to do now.
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